What’s Holding You Back, have you been Bonsai’d?
One of my favourite films growing up was Karate Kid, not only did it ignite my interst in Martial Arts, but it also introduced me to the bonsai tree;
And I was just wondering is your ambition like a bonsai tree?
Ask a small child what he/she wants to be when they grow up and you’ll often get an unlimited answer:
A professional sports person
A famous actress or singer
An ice cream man (or was hat just me?)
Their ambitions are like an oak tree growing proudly in a wide open space. Nothing limits them. Their roots are free to reach wherever they wish and their branches and leaves can spread and stretch luxuriously.
But something happens as we leave childhood.
The tree that is our ambition is uprooted. Someone trims the roots, snips the branches and squashes our spirit into a tiny pot that prevents future growth.
Our ambition is bonsai’d.
And because we live in a forest of bonsai spirits, where everyone we meet is the same, it seems quite natural.
But you know what? If you take a bonsai tree and plant it in your garden, water it well and feed it with nourishing fertilizer, it will start to grow again.
In a few short years it will make up for lost time and reach out its roots and shoots into the world.
Is your ambition able to catch up?
I think so. Remove the restraints that are holding you back and before long every one around you will start to look very small and limited.
Is it time that you smashed your pot?
One way to help is through nourishment…
Feedback is the nourishment that makes us grow.
Good feedback is like a wonderfully balanced meal – it provides sustenance for every part of us, makes us better at what we do, stronger in our mind and happier in our spirit.
Bad feedback, however is like a bowl of gruel. It just about feeds us, but provides none of the goodness we need to thrive.
Bad feedback is worse than none at all. Like a meal deficient in vitamins, it can create more problems than if it was absent completely.
Learn to encourage good feedback from those around you – by giving great feedback to them. Teaching by example is your most powerful tool.
Take every opportunity to show people that you appreciate what they do – but if you don’t, find a constructive means of explaining what they are doing wrong.
There is always some way to sweeten the pill!
Sometimes, the most damaging feedback that you can receive is not from other people. It comes from inside yourself, your selftalk.
I often ask my clients “Who else in the world would you treat as harshly as you treat yourself?”
And the answer is always knowbody.
When everyone is busy and preoccupied with their own lives, it is easy to imagine that their lack of
feedback to you is due to failings on your part.
Then the demon of self-doubt starts to nag at you.
If you are unhappy about a demon living inside your brain (and who wouldn’t be?), why not allow an angel or super hero to
dwell in there instead? (Or another empowering character of choice)
Learn to give yourself great feedback. Keep telling yourself how good you are – and why.
In no time your subconsious garden will be bursting with well-nourished trees and flowers for you to enjoy!
What your mind believes you will achieve,
All the best
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X Factor Finalist 2013
WKC World Kickboxing Champion